Mravo je djed?
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Mravo je djed?
How to tell the difference between different genres of metal
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Čitajte sve, isplati se:
A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?'
The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.
Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'
The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.
The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.
The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.
Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'
The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.
The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.
The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.
Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'
The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'
`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.
I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls,' said the father,but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.
The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.
Dear son,' said the father,I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?'
The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.'
The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.
The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.
Dearest father,' the son started,I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.'
One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.
The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.
The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.
The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.
`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible.'
It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.
The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.
Father,' the son said,You've made me very happy yet again.'
That night, the son spent on board the tanker.
The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.
A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.
His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'
Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'
The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls.'
`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls.'
The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.
`Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.'
The son nodded weakly.
The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.
`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls,' the father requested.
The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.
`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.
`I- I-'
Then he died.
ma goni se u kurac
star je vic 'ko ja, ali jedan od boljih.
:)
Dobri stari vicevi, zna san vake pričat u busu kad smo išli u školu, okupe se svi i nakon 10 minuta kad završin, pa netriba objašnjavat posebno :)
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))= Citat =:
Izvorno postao sakondo
Mislim da je ovaj vic već bio i da si ti baš ovo napisao. :)= Citat =:
Izvorno postao Wizard
More biti, bia je taj i još par šta san ih volia pričat, ima od toga već godina i godina :)
A onaj sa govnetom u pustinji tog tipa :))
Prave kokoške party, i pita jedna drugu: "Po koliko para trebamo dati ?".
Ova joj odgovara: "Pa ne znam, KO'KO 'KO DA!"
:pray: :pray: :pray:
:pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray:
GRIND METAL: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...= Citat =:
Izvorno postao Maja
CHRISTIAN METAL: The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."
= Citat =:
CHRISTIAN METAL: The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage..unless you have a younger brother, i'd really like to fuck him"
Tuku se b.b.b. i torcida. To gledaju 2 Šiptara (tata i sin). Tuče se 5 navijača.
Sin:
- "Babo, babo da uljetim?"
Tata:
- "Ne još..."
15 navijača u tuči.
Sin:
- "Babo, babo da uljetim?"
Tata:
- "Ne još..."
Opća tuča, 50 navijača u borbi.
Sin:
- "Babo, babo da uljetim?"
Tata:
- "Možeš."
Sin:
- "Kokice, kokice, kikiriki ...."
Mali sudac iz Njemačke, Hrvatima radi spačke, jučer je u kasni sat, turnir iša zajebat, pa je Hrvat izvadija PAM PAM PAM PAM.. Mali sudac sada zivi na Lovrincu :D
živi urnebes
Za upišat se od smijeha.
Oh god...
Baš kad sam pomislio da sam se naslušao onoga što je vjerojatno najlošiji, komercijalizirani nepotizam na glazbenoj sceni još otkad je Huljić proguro Mrvicu...
Al evo.
Zašto to nebi bila himna i ultimativni meme svih koji nose trenerke + kapuljače svaki božji dan jer im zvuči gengsta i andergraund...
Why not?
Ne kužim tvoj post uopće lol
Nije ni potrebno.
Bolestan sam sa visokom temperaturom. :(
Dosađujem Bogu i vragu po Fejsbucima sa nula smisla :)
Što je gore? Kad ti Paravinja stane ili kad Čačić ne stane ??
Užas. Bilo bi mi neugodno ispričati to nekome.= Citat =:
Izvorno postao accursed
lol nhf xD
Dođe poštar u starački dom i kaže:
-Gdje ste lavovi?
Prolazi neki deda i pita ga:
-Zašto nas nazivaš lavovima?
-Pa kad god dodjem netko rikne!
xD
A third grade teacher asks her students to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence.
Cathy stands up and says, "Last summer I had the mumps and my mother said it was contagious."
"Very good, Cathy," the teacher says. "Does anyone else have a sentence?"
Julie, a sweet little girl in the front row, stands up and says, "My grandmother says there's a bug going around and it's contagious."
"Excellent, Julie," says the teacher, as she looks around the class and sees Little Johnny waving his hand impatiently. "Yes, Little Johnny, do you have a sentence?"
Little Johnny quickly jumps up and says, "The lady next door was painting her porch with a one inch brush and my dad said it would take the contagious."
Došao čovjek u Osijek i pita taxistu:
-Koliko je vožnja do Đakova?
-100 kuna!
-Ali ja imam samo 80!?
-Onda ništa.
Razmišlja tip pa kaže:
-A, je'l ti mene možeš voziti za tih 80, pa dokle dođemo?
-Može.
Nekoliko kilometara od Đakova kaže taxist:
-Tvojih 80 kuna ovdje završavaju!
-Ali kiša pljušti, a to je još samo par kilometara?!
-Van!, reče taksist...
Nakon tjedan dana dolazi čovjek opet na taxi stajalište. Taxist od prošlog tjedna je zadnji u redu...Čovjek ode kod prvog:
-Evo ti 100 kuna za vožnju do Đakova i još 100 ako mi ga popušiš!!
-Marš!-saspe taksist salvu psovki za njim i potjera ga...
Ode čovjek kod drugog taxista, a ovaj ga isto potjera i izvrijeđa.
I tako svi redom dok nije došao do taxista od prošlog tjedna:
-Koliko je vožnja do Đakova?
-100 kn isto k'o i prošli tjedan, sta se praviš lud!?
-Čuj, evo ti 100 kuna, a evo ti još 100 ako me lijepo polako ovuda provezeš i
usput maši svojim kolegama...
Kako da ubijem komarca kad je moje krvi xD
Jebes Chuck Norissa kad lik iz GTA vadi sva moguca oruzija iz džepa. :D
Dođe Zagorec doma pijan.
Žena mu opali šamarčinu i kaže: "Buš još pil ?" Ovaj šuti.
Žena mu pritisne još jedan šamar: "Odgovori! Buuš još pil?"
Zagorec i dalje šuti.
Žena mu tresne još jači šamar: "Reci! Buuuš još pil?"
A ovaj promrmlja: "No dobro, daj mi natoči."