SharpDressedChevap
28-02-2010, 23:20
Evo ovako... u zadnje vrijeme sam pisao dosta pjesama (kad bih dobio inspiraciju ofc.) i kad sam ih pročitao sve zaredom, shvatio sam da se dosta njih međusobno nadopunjuje, i da imaju puno više smisla kao potpuna cjelina. Isto tako u zadnje vrijeme imam isto pun prozor toga za pisati pa bi bilo poželjno da očuvam kakvu-takvu kreativnost.
Mrzim pisanje priče, no samo one ograničene običnim pripovjedanjem, opisivanjem, dijalozima i sličnome. Po meni se ista količina kvalitete (dapače, čak i veća) može izraziti u rimi i stihovima. Stoga sam eto odlučio da ubijem vrijeme i malo si "proširim horizonte" pišući pjesme koje su zapravo priče.
Ovo nije ništa revolucionarno ili bogznašto, ovakav stil pisanja koriste recimo Iron Maiden, koji u jednoj pjesmi sadrže pravu malu pričicu (tipa Rime of the Ancient Mariner). A mene su inspirirale pjesme Iron Maidena, Hammerfalla, Sabatona i sl.
Ovo što sam ja zamislio bi bilo ovako: 5 "knjiga" (u nedostatku boljeg naziva) od koje sadržava 10 do 15 pjesama, što bi sveukupno činilo 50 do 75 pjesama (ovo nije konačan broj, ali ovo je minimum od očekivanog). Evo primjer pjesme koja će činiti dio prve knjige.
Story of a rotten oak tree
Somewhere deep in the woods,
Where my spirit gazed for salvation,
Silhouette of the Oak tree stood,
Whispering for his damnation.
And when my eyes stopped on his branches, they'll die,
The leaves fell off, soaring, flying to me,
Making a silent vortex around me, Oak opened his eye,
Opened his mouth and the tale started.
"I saw thee, wandering,
Thy steps are slow, unsettled your thoughts are,
Thy soul is seeking for answering,
For the questions never asked so far.
Have a seat, next to my root,
Listen a tale I speak,
Where theft brings no loot,
Sun hides behind the mountain peak.
My eyes stared at sky,
As I was only one at this hill,
I believed me couldn't die,
As I felt the thrill.
And me, was reckless and young,
And I stoled sunsets for me,
From the sky which sang,
"Sad destiny of thee"
And greedy was my soul,
Never learned my lesson,
And the sky decided to get back what I stole.
And he sent creatures same as myself,
Millions of trees, stealing ground of my root,
And that's the theft without loot,
I told you at the start of a tale.
I couldn't live, Myself I lied,
With ones who had same power as me,
My expectations were too high,
As others hated me.
I never saw the sky again,
As they rised above me,
I am just a friend to men,
Who travel around hills of thee.
And for me, Sun has hidden,
Behind the mountain peak,
Many pages of this tale in ground are written,
But no one could seek.
And so thee should know,
Greed destroyed me, and it will destroy others,
Don't make sky mad so you can watch above,
Till you meet Him, the sky father."
And Oak closed his eyes,
And leaves came back to tree,
I look above, light of day dies,
I have to continue my journey to break free.
And as I walk,
I think about Oak,
How could he talk,
What did he spoke?
Is it my mind again,
Or I see things,
Is it my imagination again,
Or my bird of sanity has no wings...?
Dakle, ova tema je kreirana da po mogućnosti dobijem savjete i nove ideje za poboljšavanje i proširivanje mojih pjesama. Hvala unaprijed.
Mrzim pisanje priče, no samo one ograničene običnim pripovjedanjem, opisivanjem, dijalozima i sličnome. Po meni se ista količina kvalitete (dapače, čak i veća) može izraziti u rimi i stihovima. Stoga sam eto odlučio da ubijem vrijeme i malo si "proširim horizonte" pišući pjesme koje su zapravo priče.
Ovo nije ništa revolucionarno ili bogznašto, ovakav stil pisanja koriste recimo Iron Maiden, koji u jednoj pjesmi sadrže pravu malu pričicu (tipa Rime of the Ancient Mariner). A mene su inspirirale pjesme Iron Maidena, Hammerfalla, Sabatona i sl.
Ovo što sam ja zamislio bi bilo ovako: 5 "knjiga" (u nedostatku boljeg naziva) od koje sadržava 10 do 15 pjesama, što bi sveukupno činilo 50 do 75 pjesama (ovo nije konačan broj, ali ovo je minimum od očekivanog). Evo primjer pjesme koja će činiti dio prve knjige.
Story of a rotten oak tree
Somewhere deep in the woods,
Where my spirit gazed for salvation,
Silhouette of the Oak tree stood,
Whispering for his damnation.
And when my eyes stopped on his branches, they'll die,
The leaves fell off, soaring, flying to me,
Making a silent vortex around me, Oak opened his eye,
Opened his mouth and the tale started.
"I saw thee, wandering,
Thy steps are slow, unsettled your thoughts are,
Thy soul is seeking for answering,
For the questions never asked so far.
Have a seat, next to my root,
Listen a tale I speak,
Where theft brings no loot,
Sun hides behind the mountain peak.
My eyes stared at sky,
As I was only one at this hill,
I believed me couldn't die,
As I felt the thrill.
And me, was reckless and young,
And I stoled sunsets for me,
From the sky which sang,
"Sad destiny of thee"
And greedy was my soul,
Never learned my lesson,
And the sky decided to get back what I stole.
And he sent creatures same as myself,
Millions of trees, stealing ground of my root,
And that's the theft without loot,
I told you at the start of a tale.
I couldn't live, Myself I lied,
With ones who had same power as me,
My expectations were too high,
As others hated me.
I never saw the sky again,
As they rised above me,
I am just a friend to men,
Who travel around hills of thee.
And for me, Sun has hidden,
Behind the mountain peak,
Many pages of this tale in ground are written,
But no one could seek.
And so thee should know,
Greed destroyed me, and it will destroy others,
Don't make sky mad so you can watch above,
Till you meet Him, the sky father."
And Oak closed his eyes,
And leaves came back to tree,
I look above, light of day dies,
I have to continue my journey to break free.
And as I walk,
I think about Oak,
How could he talk,
What did he spoke?
Is it my mind again,
Or I see things,
Is it my imagination again,
Or my bird of sanity has no wings...?
Dakle, ova tema je kreirana da po mogućnosti dobijem savjete i nove ideje za poboljšavanje i proširivanje mojih pjesama. Hvala unaprijed.