Druga, stvarna strana Hrvatske... PREDOBRO !

[bounce]

Obavezno pročitati sve.. Predobro !

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Croatia

Most famous Croatian sportsman is Janica Kostelich. Her big ass is the main reason why she keeps on going down the hill that fast! Anyway, the other popular skier is Ivica Kostelich. It is not known, which of them is female, for they both look male and have female names.

[Simon the Dreamer]

Pogledaj pod Ukrajinu - valuta=Boršč

[mravojed20]

First Croatian king was King Tomislav(around 925). He fought to make Croatia an even bigger country if it was possible, and failed at it miserably when his army of 20 old people got decimated by angry rabied badgers that jumped them from the bushes as they tried to cross the border into China.

[ssalG]

Motto (unofficial): "We'll be in the EU in 2054."

SWhen they don't talk about Serbs they brag about how much you can curse in Croatian. They are very proud of the fact that it is impossible to translate these curses in any other language because of their brilliance. Every second word in Croatian is "kurac" - it can mean almost anything depending on the context.

Ove dvije su mi najbolje

[Fenrir]

President Stephen Littlemeat

Language Every language, but never Serbian

Best actress Ševerina Vučković alias Ševe (stolen video)

[McPingvin_v2.0]

Around 1990 they fought a little war, in which with the help from NATO, EU, Mordor, S.S.S.R., Jedi order, the Eskimos, Hogworts, Hezbolah, Chuck Norris, Bill Clinton, NAMBLA, Mars, a bunch of vampires, Jimbo Whales, a stopwatch, Newgrounds, Vice City, and all other bithy neighbour countries, they managed to wipe out the Chetniks from their homeland, and those Chetniks are to this day crying like bitches about it.

isuste

[Rocchiro]

znam,vidjeh vec prije,najlegendarnije

Croatia has several major export products.Exclusive export products are generals.

[Prince-Artas]

sjećam se te stranice, bilo ke ovo davno u novinama
pogledajte malo naše susjedne države, za umrit od

Srbija do Tokija preko Milvokija

[Lord Ragnarok]

odavno se nisam ovako dobro nasmijao

pročitajte za nazi

[K4ciga]

Croatia is also known for Severina. She is a very popular porn movie star (her private porn video was probably the most watched porn in the Balkan region) and she also sings (but her singing is not as popular as her performance in bed)

a iz srbije

Serbia is no longer a communist country, it is now a democracy, which means more McDonald's restaurants per sq. kilometer

SMost people think that Serbs hate Croats. But that's not true, no! Serbs love Croats as Croats make-up funny cartoon character's names, like "Spužva Bob Kvadra Hlače" and "Zekoslav Mrkvić", and run Star Trek on their national television.

[mravojed20]

Kosovo:

Favourite Past Times

Throwing rocks at buses transporting Serbs.

Hunting Serbs. It's a variation of the European fox-hunt where instead of the fox they deploy a Serbian specimen and instead of dogs to chase them, they use KFOR vehicles and chase the Serb through a GPS tracking device. The objective of this game is to catch the Serb alive so that he reveals the location of his wife so that the gang bang can start.

[Jopax]

Slovenia is so small that almost no one in the world knows where it is. As a result, a lot of people think of Slovakia when they hear about the existence of Slovenia for the first time. The neighboring countries of Slovenia think of Slovenia as a semi-decent parking lot, even though there's no real parking space when you actually want to park in Slovenia. Slovenia also has a tiny part of the Adriatic Sea which Slovenians use for their personal hygiene in summer time. After that, Slovenians usually stay smelly and unclean till next summer.

Since Slovenia is so small, Slovenians are not allowed to play loud music in their homes so they don't upset their neighboring countries and cause an international incident. Slovenia also has no place for prisons, so when a Slovenian breaks the law they have to go stand in the corner of the country and feel ashamed for what they've done. Slovenia has only one cleaning lady from Bosnia who works part-time; she cleans the whole country and then goes home to her husband who beats her up for the job well done.

Ovo o Sloveniji je najzesce

[M@T3J]

National Anthem: Baruni - Neka pati koga smeta

National Hero Dražen Petrović, Goran Ivanišević, Alan Ford

Religion TV, followed by ritual coffee drinking.

[Tri66a]

USA:

Due to the increasing number of Mexican Illegal Immigrants entering the United States, the national Anthem has been rewritten and the first words "Oh, Say can you see" have been changed to "José, can you see."

Correction: American music is not mainly "rap", but mainly "crap."

Also:

America's crime rates are very low - the States rank second in North America (north of the Mexican border). These rates, exemplary to the rest of the developed world, are thanks to America's level of personal safety, which is guaranteed by every citizen owning one or more guns.Therefore, the safest place in the USA is Texas. Detroit is also the safest city in America.

An alternative theory has been suggested by crazy scientists that had been drinking too much night. The theory states that: By creating laws, you create criminals, so by removing laws, you eliminate criminals. Therefore there is such a great opposition to gun control, as it will make everyone who owns a gun a criminal. However, this theory has been dismissed as being a freedom conspiracy to make the rest of the world look better.

American crime is very different from other nations, in that their are many different organized gangs that control the provincial lands. The Vice Lords, the 18th Street Gang, the Costra Nostra, the Jackson 5 and the Butthole Banditos are among the most powerful. These gangs are fiercely territorial and engage in such illicit activities such as armed robbery, extortion, voting, backyard liposuctions and manufacturing illegal sugarbabies. They control a vast majority of local governments through the sale of LSD and key lime pie.

The current president George W. Bush is expected to be sentenced to 798 years in a high-security prison shortly after his presidency is over.

[Black Hawk Down]

. About two hours later I heard a noise downstairs, So I jumped from my krevet to see who was there. Standing by the tree and eating some leftover pizza, Was good 'ol Sveti Nikola reeking of homemade sljivovica! He was all dressed in red and big as an ox, And wore some brown sandale along with black socks. Smelling like a gypsy that's been drinking for days, He wasn't what I expected...I was actually amazed. "U pizdu mater, kako mrzim ovaj posao," he said, And then I think he muttered something about his wife and how he wished she was dead. He put the presents under the tree while whistling a Christmas beat, They were all wrapped up kinda shitty with the paper bags from Ottawa Street.12 carape for me and 12 for my brother,3 pairs of gace for my dad and a can of turska kava for my mother. This Croatian Santa was crooked...he was nothing like the fable, I should of known it when he swiped my pack of smokes from the table. I yelled "Hey!" as Sveti Nikola turned around like a car, Throwing his slapa at me as if it were a ninja star. The look in his eyes was nothing but fright, He said "Jebo ti pas mater" and dashed out of sight. Up through the dimnjak I heard a loud shriek, Sveti Nikola had just farted like some wild bik. He got in his kaput, made for hladne zime, And he yelled at his jelene, ime po ime. "Naprijed Marko i Darko, Petar i Ante,"\ "Ajde Josip i Nenad, Ivo i Mate..." And then he yelled, "Ajdemo brzo, moramo poc," This will be one jeBena noć

[NoNCoNFoRMiST]

Chetniks

S

[RIPtheREAPER]

Some udyeing bands (that just keep makeinms like some people just can't face the facts that they are "u kurcu" (a strong state of mind/life like depression, when you're over 30, don't have a job, and still living with your parents)).

[Clutch]

Croatians are very hospitable and friendly (except if you are Slovenian or Serbian - I guess that they really hate their neighbours

[Munjeni jarac]

Mighty Serbian Cities:
Novi Sad - New Now
Kraljevo - King’s
Subotica - Littlesaturday
Sjenica - Littleshaddow

[Prince-Artas]

malo o bih

The total population of Bosnia counts three (3). Two jedi males, by the names of Mujo and Suljo and one female called Fata.

Average Serb on Bosnia

“This is Spartaaaa"

[M@T3J]

pogledajte Crnu Goru (montenegro).

[MTF*]

Srbija:

Motto: "I Srbi su ljudi. Možda."

The country's main export are Serbian pop-folk songs, sang by busty Serbian divas who were possibly born as men (no one knows for sure).

People from Montenegro are known to be very lazy, slow and untalented. In other words, these Montenigerians are Serbs who act and talk like Bosnians, and don't like to be called Serbs. If you call them "Hey, you Serb!" most likely the answer will be "Oca ti jebem!".

[Svinjoguz]

Slovenians are hiding Weapons of Mass Stupidity (WMS) such as Matjaž Hanžek and Janez Drnovšek, decided to nuke Slovenia, but then they got terribly confused because all they could find on the world map was Slovakia, thus Team America was forced to abandon their previous plans and invade Iraq instead.

[M@T3J]

“Milosevic? I hate him, the bastard lost Kosovo. String him up. No wait. That was me. Shit.”


~ Slobodan Milosevic about Slobodan Milosevic


Territorial aspirations(SErbia): From Baltic to Adriatic Sea, including Tokyo, Milwaukee, Karlovac, Karlobag, Virovitica and Ogulin

[Xenon Demon]

Svaka čast onome koji je pisa ovu CIKLOPEDIJU .......
Amo pisat nešto ovako o nekoj maloj zemlji kao kina ,sad,ili neku zbilja malu
Rusiju no i Luxemburg je dobra zemlja za sprdanciju!!Da odma počnemo:
Znate kako slavni ruski general,kojemu se ne sječam imena,riješava problem mina vidit če te iz citata:
Press:How do you deal with mines?
General:Easy,i send the infantry!

[FearLess]

However, the Mecha-Ashdown was later reprogrammed by the physicist and techno-wizard Chesney Hawks, and has, since 1992, stood as the Overlord of Bosnia, preventing other countries from resolving their disputes there. This had great repercussions for Serbia and Croatia, who are now forced to drive to GreeceSto do their fighting instead.

[Booby]

“Hey, it looks like Croatia's eating Bosnia!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Croatia

x999

E nemogu disat koliko se smijem!!!!!!1!!1

[Kostolomac]

presmiješno